


Trip Down Memory Lane

by peepeekink



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, me? venting? never, plan to add more to it tb h, theres talk of past abuse both emotional and sexual, thought this was gon be w a y longer tbh but oh vwell, tons and tons of angst, with comedic relief at the end aldskf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepeekink/pseuds/peepeekink
Summary: cronus is an depressed sack o shit because of his lack of ever having anything work out for him and has someone show up to his house. he fucking ruins it very quickly aldkkfj





	Trip Down Memory Lane

Cronus was sitting in his home, taking a break from constantly combing the bubbles in hopes of finding someone who would actually give him attention. It had been a long time since someone had actually said more than “fuck off” to him. It was hard to keep up with the passage of time, but he assumed it had been at least a year since his last good conversation. Shit was lonely, and it was getting to him. 

He would watch another movie for the five hundredth time, but there’s only so many times you can watch a movie about people having fun before you just feel like shit. Well, even more than what was normal now. Cronus sighed as he was thinking and cast a glance to the window. Nothing out of the ordinary, same sand, same grass, same crashing of waves, same everything.

Seahorsedad was who knows where. Even in death, he still wandered off to do something that would kill him under any other circumstances. Cronus didn’t care anymore. He’d be fine. Can’t double die after all. 

The young man decided to lay on the floor, arms outstretched and eyes closed. He took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his whirlwind of a brain. 

_vwhat if youre just meant to be alone? forevwer._  
porrim vwas right. she vwas alvways right. vworthless. not evwen pitiful, just plain sad.  
just faking. alvways looking for attention.  
nevwer been sincere before and nevwer vwill be.  
just vwant to be used and abused.  
no care about your ovwn safety. just vwanting to feel vwalued no matter the cost.

Okay, at some point that stopped being stuff others told him, and just things he constantly told himself. All true. All true. The tears began to well up in his eyes. Big and fat tears trailing down the sides of his face. He had the good manners to choke down any noises that may come up. No need to be anymore of a nuisance than necessary. 

The stories of all of his past loves flooded his mind.

Mituna Captor, his first chance at a quadrant. A great pitch power couple. Their flirting could make anyone uncomfortable. The pinnacle of blackrom. Of course, it was all ruined when that heroic bucket of piss tried to save them all. His brain was so fucked by Meenah’s bomb that there wasn’t anything left of the guy when they came back as ghosts. He blames the both of them for what was taken from him. A good, happy life before that fuck up of an eternity. 

He constantly tried to get Meenah. When they were younger, he fished (heh, fish) for pale with her for the longest time. She eventually got tired of his bullshit and ran to the moon like any sensible person. When she showed back after the bomb, Cronus was going for pitch. He had the anger to fuel it. More than enough. More than enough for the two of them to thrive. Meenah didn’t want anything to do with him. 

 Damara after having her heart ripped out by Rufioh. Yeah, it was just a rebound that was only sex and he didn’t understand most of what she said when she did speak to him, but it was still his first relationship of sorts. He called it love then and still looks upon it fondly. He’s tried to rekindle what he thinks they had, but to no avail. She tells him to his face what it was to her. A rebound. Something to keep her occupied. Nothing more. Maybe less. 

The few months with Rufioh. This was after he and Horuss had gotten together. so Cronus was just a side piece. Always a side piece. Rufioh would whisper sweet nothings to him whenever they were alone together, but in public, the constant insults were in abundance. He was told that it was all just a show to keep Horuss off his tail. Rufioh said that he’d break up with Horuss for him. They could be happy together for the rest of eternity. Cronus believed him. Hung onto his every word like it was drift wood in an ocean storm. One day, Rufioh just stopped answering, stopped paying attention to him, left him in the dust. Cronus, being the hopeful idiot he is, kept holding onto the hope that he was about to break it with the horse and come sweep him up. Nothing happened. Rufioh wasn’t allowed out of Horuss’ sight. Cronus saw the man he thought was his true love at the time be reduced to a pile of emotional rubble. All of that confidence he had in himself was gone. Fucking obliterated by that dildo toting jackass. 

The few times he tried to spank the monkey with Kankri, Porrim was on his ass and ready to murder him. Cronus was respectful about his asking for sexual favors from him. He respected that the guy didn’t like being touched, so he would ask about the both of them having a jack off session together. No touching required. Kankri was disgusted for whatever reason. Porrim caught wind and beat the shit out of him more times than physically possible to count. 

During one beating from Porrim, he asked if this was pitch. She was ready to vomit.   
_I have self respect, unlike yo+u. Do+n’t ever think that this is fo+r my benefit, yo+u greased pig.  
_

Sometime after he left his group of Beforians, Cronus ran into this dude with sharp glasses and a hat that he kept on at all times. Looked like a major douche, but beggars can’t be choosers. He called himself Bro. Kind of weird, but whatever. Bro actually paid attention to him. Seemed to take an interest in him. Or, some parts of him. This guy wasn’t too big on talking about anything other than himself. If it was something that he didn’t want to talk about, he would just ignore it. Many one-sided conversations on Cronus’ part. Cronus grew to “love” him. Yeah, he was avoidant about most things, only interested in hearing how Cronus could please him, never understood his being humankin, and only fully there when he wanted something, but Cronus had someone who was reliable. Everyday, like clockwork, he could expect to hear from Bro, see bro walk into the home they shared with a lust filled gaze. He loved the purring Cronus would do when he saw him, loved the tensing from fear when he brought out his favorite toys, loved the pleas for it to stop. Bro was able to act out his wildest fantasies with his pet. Cronus had never been in a real relationship before, so he thought that was how things were supposed to be. His old movies always said one had to submit to the other and do as they say. Bro obviously wasn’t going to submit, so he took it upon himself. Cronus was alone in this, no friends to help him out of the hole he dug himself. The hole got deeper every passing minute. At some point, Bro got bored of him. Never came back to the apartment and was just gone. Cronus was torn to bits at this. He sat in the empty apartment for days and days, hoping he would come back. After thirty days of waiting, he gave up. He returned to the memory of his home. After being gone for over a year, the memory was still as bright and vivid as he left it. No one had bothered to come looking for him.

Months passed, then years, then decades passed in complete silence. It began to blur like radio static. The static switched to the clear sound of him sobbing on the floor of his home. His thoughts had led back to this moment. He knew that all those things he sees- saw as love were just being used, abused in some cases, but he still missed it. He still craved it. He wanted to feel something like that intense want and passion again. Before eternity ended. 

He sat up, tears and snot dripping down, eyes a violet, puffy mess. He saw something out the window. Blonde hair, white shirt, sharp black glasses. His face lit up.   
_is that bro? did he change his mind? did he finally come back for me? oh please, god. let this be my chance. PLEASE, I NEED SOMETHING._  
He scrambled to his feet and rushed to clean himself up in hopes of being presentable. 

He was now as handsome as the day he met Bro. He glanced outside in hopes that he was still there. Yes, he was looking at his house in awe, standing stock still. Now’s your chance, babe. 

His best sly grin on while he stepped out, ready to greet the man he saw as his ticket from loneliness. The door shut behind him and. That was not Bro. This guy looked younger by a lot and much more unsure of himself. Cronus’ moment of confusion was quickly brushed away.

“Hey, you lost? I don’t see many sweet honeys like you around this part of the bubbles.”

He was brought out of his train of thought by the words that were directed at him. The Bro-look-alike looked around for a moment to be sure that he was talking to him. “Don’t bother with that. Really, don’t.” 

Definitely not Bro. Cronus frowned, “What? Why not? Afraid you might like it~?” His voice like satin.

Even with the glasses on, the tired look on his face could be seen from miles away. “Ah geeze. I’m so flattered. It’s not like you say this shit to everyone who’ll talk to you.”

The violet scoffed, pressing a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I’d think a catch like you would be able to spot sincerity. Can’t a handsome guy just drop some totally original compliments on an equally handsome guy?” 

He pushed his shades down to the tip of his nose and glanced around. “Am I being punked? This seems like some quality reality TV bullshit if you ask me.” 

“No? Babe, you need to learn to take a compliment. Especially if this conversation is going to keep on.” Cronus winked.

The mystery man pushed his shades back to their normal position and turned around without another word.

Cronus fumbled for a moment; then ran to his side in hysterics. “Babe! Babe, you can’t just leave me like this! I can tell we have a real connection! Come on! You can’t leave without at least telling me your name! Let me start-” he cleared his throat “-I’m Cronus Ampora, better known as the man of your dreams.” His best bedroom eyes at work.

Mystery man turned around to face him, hands together as if in mock prayer with a look that said “I’m not putting up with this today.” 

Cronus let himself drop the pose and latched onto his hopefully soon to be lover. “Kitten, doll, sweetheart, boss, cupcake, love of my life, please? Can you please tell me your name?”

Without hesitation, he spat out, “Assdic Mcfuck. There, happy?”

Cronus sat for a minute, mulling the name over in his mind then nodded. “That’ll be a weird thing to moan tonight.” 

Mr. Mcfuck was out. He was running now. 

Cronus chased after him. “Ass? What did I do? I just said the truth! Isn’t that what people want in a potential love interest?” 

This guy was running like Cronus was the plague. The four horsemen of the apocalypse; war, pestilence, death, and sexual famine.

That was the end of that chance at love. 


End file.
